


baby your bruises

by wetlouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationship, Angst, Bottom Harry, Crying, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Fluff, Harry Styles - Freeform, Liam Payne - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, Niall Horan - Freeform, Smut, Top Louis, Zayn Malik - Freeform, also this fanfiction is written from Louis' pov and normally I don't really write or read that, and this is everything fictional I really don't know if Louis' symptoms and stuff are realistic, anyways Louis has a split personality, but this is really emotional and it didn't feel right writing this in third person, but yeah there is that, if you know what i mean, omg that's actually a tag, soo I really hope you like this bc I really liked the idea so yeah enjoy, this is basically about Louis retelling his relationship with Harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7639618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wetlouis/pseuds/wetlouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I didn't know when it started or why it started, I only know that I wanted it to stop. But apperantly I am not in control of everything and sometimes I feel like I never was and everything I do or I am is wrong..</p><p>And that's why I love this curly haired and green eyed boy so much, which I fell in love with some time ago, who loves me like all these problems don't exist.</p><p>From the start on I knew that this relationship wouldn't end good but he won't let me go, so I'll stay and keep him till the very end...</p><p>...which came sooner than I thought.</p><p>(or the one where Louis has a split personality and retells his relationship with Harry to the FBI)</p>
            </blockquote>





	baby your bruises

**Author's Note:**

> ok so last year I wrote this story and at that time I thought that it was too complicated to post and I didn't like the way it was written and I also had a writers block and then I completely gave this fanfic up but I found it again and I still really do like this idea and I am willing to keep on writing if people actualy read it. 
> 
> Also I am so sorry that this first chapter is so fucking short I just really wanna make sure that people like it and want to read it. And if that's the case I will update every week from now on... so yeah enjoy :) 
> 
> check out my [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/louiscompany/) and  
> my [tumblr](http://louiscompany.tumblr.com/)

I went up the staires in the big building, which led to our apartment on the 4th floor. It was old with plants growing on the outside wall and squieking doors. But the apartment was big and cheap for it's size so it was enough. My keyes jingeled as I searched the right one for the lock and I opened the door. I walked inside and placed the bundle in a bowl on the cupboard. There was a wonderfull smell already in the air and I knew that my beautiful boyfriend was cooking dinner for us. Smiling, I walked through the door into the living room with the kitchen and took in the beautiful sight, which I was welcomed with on all friday evenings but it took away my breath every single time. He stood in front of the oven, his back turned to me and in a hoodie of mine. It was way too long for him but he could wear everything. His short curly hair was a little mess and our cat, darcy, was laying on a barstool infront of the counter.

Slowly I made my way towards him, knowing he already heard me. I stood right behind him as I wrapped my arms around his slim waist and hooked my chin over his shoulder to look, what amazing dinner he would cook tonight. Pasta with some fancy sauce. It already smelled delicious.

"thought you wouldn't come until seven", he said, voice soft and slow and now I noticed just how much I missed him the whole day at work.

"got sent home earlier", I whispered in his ear, placing a kiss right next to it. He put away the spoon he was holding and turned around in my embrance, his arms making their way arround my neck.

Our eyes locked and for a moment everything was perfect, everything was just how it's supposed to be and I smiled softly at him. But as my eyes traveled around his face I saw the proof why everything completely wasn't perfect. He put on two new plasters on his wouned eyebrow and his bruised eye healed, which was good, of course, but it didn't made up the fact that it was there at all. The cut on his lip was bitten open again and looked like it just stopped bleeding.

I already regretted staring this long on his bruised face and even though I didn't said a word about it, never say, he knew what I was thinking about.His eyes suddenly went sad and his head dropped as he looked ashamed at the ground.

I knew he was ashamed about his wounds, I could tell it the way he said sorry every morning when there were new bruises and the way he always tried to avoid eyecontact with me when I took care of them. But Harry had absolutely no reason to be ashamed, it wasn't his fault, he was perfect, he was everything I ever wished for and dreamed of.

The only mistake he made was stay with this monster who did this to him, but that was all alone his choice.

I leaned forward and placed a kiss ontop of his curls which made him look up again and I pressed him closer to my chest as he burried his face in my neck. When he flinched a bit as I touched the bruises on his hips I stayed still, not wanting to hurt him more than neccesarry.

"I love you. missed you all day." I whispered in his hair. He slowly pulled away and leaned up so I looked directly in his emerald green eyes. His hypnotysing, beautiful eyes. Slowly he came closer so I could feel him breathing on my lips.

"love you too", he whispered back and gently placed his soft lips on mine. He pulled away and gave me a dimpled smile and turned around again, continuing stirring the sauce. With a small peck on his cheek I let go of his hips and made my way to our bathroom. I took a quick shower and put on some sweats and a tank top and went back in the kitchen.

Meanwhile Harry had turned on the cd player and was swinging his hips slightly to one of the songs. I smiled to myself because I just love him so, so much. Him and his questionable taste in music his cute curls and perfect body. His charm, his smile, honestly I could write a book about him.

I'll never get over the fact that I got so lucky.

I helped him setting up the plates as we sat down on the table to eat. His pasta tasted amazing and again I was reminded that with his 16 years he was a far more better cook than me. Before Harry moved in with me, all I ate was takeout and sandwiches wich was a bit embarrassing at the age of 19 but whatever.

"when did you get home today?", I asked taking a sip of water, hoping he wasn't too long by himself. "I think it was 1 p.m- skipped the last 3 lessons", he said with a shrug and a mouth full of pasta. He often skipped lessons, for several reasons but still somehow managed to pass. Harry was smart. 

Sure I wasn't happy about the fact that he skipped school nearly everyday because I had to look after him since he moved in with me some months ago and he was still underage but I could never be mad at him. He also told me about how he met an old friend of his again today, I think Niall was his name, he often spoke about him.

When we finished I stood up and brought our plates to the sink and turned off the kitchen light, deciding the dishes can wait till tomorrow and Harry made his way to the bathroom.

I heard the shower starting and flopped down on the couch to watch a bit TV till he was finished. I setteled on some sitcom, waiting for Harry to join me. I let out a sigh of relief, looking forward to a weekend with just me and Harry. No work, no school, just me and my boyfriend. 

By the time I heard the shower stop it was already 8 p.m. and I heard him going into our bedroom. As I looked down on the coffee table in front of the couch I saw opened letters. Letters from Harrys mum and dad. They always sent them to the school becuase they didn't know where we lived since Harry ran away to me. His parents would bring them to school and Harry could pick them up there.

When they first started sending them, Harry brought home every single day one and read all of them. But now he would only bring home one per week or something like that. One night I asked him if he didn't want to bring all of them to read and with a shaky voice and tears in his eyes he told me that his parents stopped sending them daily.

He always hated his parents and only fought with them, back when he still lived at theirs, but he never knew that they would really stop caring about him once he was away. It broke his heart and with that also mine.

Freshly showered and in his pyjamas, Harry paddled up to the couch and flopped himself ontop of me. I watched him grabbing a blanket from the end of the couch and craweld up so he was laying on my chest, the blanket thrown over us. He smelled so sweet, like strwaberrys and just Harry. Instantly i brought up my arms and held him close by the waist with one hand while the other one moved to his hair to stroke his curls.

I listened to his steady breathing and as another episode started. Somewhere in the next half an hour, I looked up at him and saw that he already fell asleep. He looked so beautiful and peaceful while sleeping, like an angel. I turned off the TV and decided, with Harry still snuggled into my chest, that we could sleep at the couch this night. And with that I closed my eyes too. 

\------

The lady with the glasses, Rebecca, took her last notes and then looked up at me. In her eyes were no emotions, she just took notes. She was pretty, maybe 23. She had dyied red hair in a ponytail and a black blaser with a skirt. Pretty professional if you'd ask me. 

I shifted a little bit in my chair, it was really uncomfortable after all this time sitting. Honesltly, I didn't know what I was expecting when the Officer told me that the people from the FBI were here again, just so I could retell them my statement I gave them exactly 5 years ago. But at least it was a bit of a variety from the daily routine here.

My hands were in Handcuffs on the table I sat at and on the opposite side sat Rebecca and Officer Maroon. There also was an Officer at the door with a loaded gun that was all time ready to be used as he told me with a stern look. The room we were in was a little bit bigger than my cell but still. Every room they ever brought me in was small.

I really felt like an animal.

Agent Maroon let out a sigh. And when I thought about it, since the last time I saw him, he hadn't changed that much. He had dark brown hair and matching brown eyes. He was tall and had broad shoulders. He grew a beard and his forhead got a lot more crinkly but all in all I had no problems recognizing him. 

I can still remember when, back then, the media and other cops talked about me like I was an object. A heartless thing with no soul and no emotions. Just because I didn't tell them straight out what happened that specific night.

But Agent Maroon sat down with me at the FBI office and said that I could take my time talking. We ended up sitting half an hour staring at each hour till I worked up the currage to tell him everything. Of course he didn't treat me like his best friend or something but he treated me like a human beeing. 

Something all the others apperently couldn't.

"OK mister Tomlinson we-" "Call me Louis", I hushed and my voice was raspier since a few years back. It was still weird for me to hear my own voice again. It's been a while since the last time I talked that much. 

"Allright then, Louis, we will stop here for today and you can rest a bit and tomorrow we will continue from here on." His voice was calm but strict. 

With a nood from Maroon, Rebecca stood up and silently left the room. The agent stood up too and went aroud the table to my side. I didn't know why but for some reason I closed my eyes. Maybe because I was afraid or it was just my anxiety in generall. It was just an reflex. Close your eyes so you don't see the things you don't want to.

I suddenly felt a warm hand placed on my shoulder, making me flinch and taking in a sharp inhale. Of course he noticed that and let out a sigh. "I'm not gonna hurt you, son", he said, his voice very near now that the Officer at the door couldn't hear him. I opened my eyes and and was met with surprisingly tired, brown eyes. 

I don't exactly know why but Agent Maroon made me feel like a human again. Like I deseved beeing treated like any other normal person. Back then when they arrested me, he was the only one who could make me talk and the only one who I wanted to talk. He was accepting and understood all the things I didn't. I knew for a fact that was locked up here completely innocent. That was not the place I was supposed to be with 25 years.

Back then he kinda reminded me of the caring father I never had. And beeing called son by him again didn't make things any better. I didn't know that I had missed him but he was and still is the only person I will talk to. 

His hand was now rubbing comforting circles on my shoulder and he was kneeling down so he was eyesight with me. "You should eat more, Louis. Got a little skinny since the last time I saw you" 

And he was right. The thing is I walked through this 5 years in prison like zombie. Bareley eating and never speaking. At his words I could only close my eyes again and nod my head. Suddenly I felt his warm t´finger on my cheek and I snapped my eyes open and started breathing heavily. I was confused at first but i didn't notice that there were tears running down my face. I looked back to his eyes and they were full of concern and sadness. His forhead wrinkled. He gave me a last pat on my shoulder and slowly stood up turning to leave the room and I felt so exhausted for some reason. I just closed my eyes again and took a few deep breaths.

This was so weird. After such a long time in a cell, after sleepless nights and no talking for such a long time period I thought that I wasn't a human anymore. I didn't feel like one. These 5 years I thought I had no emotions, no feelings, like they all said back then.

But apperently that wasn't the case and I felt so weak again. So breakable and everything started hurting again. I tought that all this pain left me but now it was coming back again. And with it all these horrible memories.

**Author's Note:**

> again I am so sorry that the first chapter is so short and I will only continue updating if there is some feedback so pls comment and kudos xx :)
> 
> check out my [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/louiscompany/) and  
> my [tumblr](http://louiscompany.tumblr.com/)


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